Trains

I hear the train whistle blow far off in the distance tonight, and then I hear the click-clack of the wheels, of the train racing through town and right by my apartment, two blocks from where I live. If I walk out onto the street out in front of my complex, I can even see it passing by going eastward through town. Trains are not new to me, I have always lived rather close to the tracks, although here in Durham is the closest I've ever lived to the tracks and the place where I've had them pass through the most frequent.

My grandparents are fascinated by trains. I have no idea where they get their fascination. I believe I had some relatives that worked with trains, but other than that I can't be sure. What I do know is that my grandparents are part of the Roanoke Chapter of the National Railroad Historical Society and volunteer in a museum that contains much of the life work of a photographer who, you guessed it, photographed trains. When I was little, the Chapter, as we call it, would take train trips through Norfolk Southern (previously Norfolk & Western before merging with Southern Railway in 1982, see what a nerd I am?) and I would sit in the Chapter's rail cars, (yes, the Chapter has their own rail cars) fascinated by the world whizzing by me. I loved the speed of how fast they moved.

I still love moving trains. I love the power behind them. They're rather terrifying, actually, when you think about how fast the move, and how big they are. No car can stand a chance. The other day, I was stopped by the train at Anderson and Main and was the first car in line. I think it was actually the first time that I've been in the drivers seat when a train rushed past (at home, the train does not rush, it crawls) and I was literally ten feet from the train. It was amazing, but terrifying, and I had my foot pushed as hard on the brake pedal as I could, for fear of me slipping and the car moving forward.

One block over from my apartment, there is a railroad bridge, where Erwin Road goes under the railway instead of the cars driving over it. It's not very high up, but I would love to be able to sit under it while the train passes by above me. One night, a friend and I were driving eastbound on Main when the train came up beside us. We ducked down under the train onto Erwin, and I will always remember it as one of the most exhilarating moments of my life. I wish we could have stopped the car right there and not had to keep moving with the traffic. I've never felt so alive and free, as we drove under the tracks with my head hanging out the window. (If the car had had a sun roof, you can guarantee I would have been hanging out of it, probably a good thing that it didn't, I might have scared my driver).

In Footloose, at least in the stage version, Ariel (female lead) takes Ren (Kevin Bacon) to her hiding place, the lower part of the railroad bridge, underneath the tracks. They sit on one of the support beams high above the ground and talk. He is quite shocked from her slightly dare-devil antics, and amused by her yelling when the train rumbles over top of them. But he understands what her other friends and family don't understand. She doesn't have a death-wish, she just wants to feel alive.

I want that. I want to have the wind rush through my hair, and the rumble of the train rush through my ears, I want to feel my heart pound as the wheels churn down the tracks. I want the thrill of being up high, the exhilaration, the excitement.

I want to feel alive.